New And Improved Accelerators:
(sfx: all in male, cheesy ad campaign voice: "if you work with particle physics  you know
the hassles of getting a state of the art particle accelerator to smash your atoms--finding
50 acres of land where you can bury the tunnel, raising millions of dollars to build it,
competing with other scientists for research time. . .well I'm here to tell you that you can
change all that with the new and improved table top laser accelerator.  Yes you heard
correctly! With recent advances in laser technology you can do cutting edge particle
research right in your lab! ")
      WELL, YOU MIGHT NOT NEED TO RUSH OUT AND BUY A PERSONAL ATOM SMASHER
FOR YOUR HOME--BUT A CHEAP TABLE TOP ACCELERATOR WOULD BE BIG NEWS TO
SCIENTIST'S WHO STUDY THE TEENSY PARTICLES THAT MAKE UP OUR WORLD.    DONALD
UMSTADTER  IS A PHYSICIST AT THE UNIVERSITY OF MICHIGAN WHO THINKS LASER POWER
MIGHT JUST DO THE TRICK TO ACCELERATE PARTICLES UP TO THE NECESSARY SPEED.

     Umstadter: "The laser. . . drives a wave in . . .a gas and this wave moves at the
sped of light almost and . . . it can directly accelerate electrons to close to the speed of
light. "

     AT THE VERY LEAST, THIS QUICK BURST OF ENERGY  FROM WHAT IS CALLED A LASER
WAKEFIELD SHOULD IMPROVE THE LARGE ACCELERATORS CURRENTLY IN USE.

     Umstadter: "a laser wakefield can in theory producea billion electron volts in a
distance of one centimeter. . . whereas to get to that same energy with a conventional
accelerator would take many feet."

     BUT EVENTUALLY UMSTADTER HOPES TO SEE THE TABLE TOP VERSION.
     "It would take maybe 20 years before we could rival conventional technology"

(Sfx: male ad voice again: "so put in your order now and in 20 years you could be the first
on your block to have one!")